i am bac.

gosh, it is 8 months ago the last time i blogged. this is actually do to google cansiling my ability to log in to my acount for some reason, and now my acount is bening rebeing restored. well, i thaught i just say all of the above for those who cares. smile. will blog again soon.

the past.

yesterday was a very special day for me. it is a day where i had a lot of talking and with 2 friends that is pretty close to

me. first, it is a friend that i know him for quite some time, but only work closely for the past 2 months. we talk and
talk about our mixing and arrangement. i listen to his work and he listen to mind as well. we let each other know honestly
about what we think about each others work. its been a long time i didn't talk to some one in that way openly about music and nice
chat. we also talked about what we did when we were small as a blind kids, those tape player that we use to play with,
recording we use to make, and tools that we use to create sound fx. you maybe laughing, but we even use things like, Rotan,
the wood from the tools you use to wipe the floor, jacket, shorts, pans, cooking pot, and many more. we had a good laugh,
and all those things we use to do come back to life. so it was a very meaningful chat. i also was talking and chatting with

another old friend of mind. we mat in the music school before. infect, for the past 2 days, i was talking to her quite a
lot. again, all the old past memories, things and people that we use to love, all come back to our mind. we also did
notice, people that change, or did not change. in the middle of talking out of a sudden, she told me that, one of my song
actually bring back some of the story in her life. she cried. at that moment, i kind of lost in my own feelings. i am
happy, because some one actually listen to my song truly. i am also happy because my song not only telling my feelings and
my story, it did tell for others as well. at the same time, i am kind of lost and not sure how should i feel, because, it
make her cry. i suppose, she is not necessary crying for regrets, but surely for those painful moments that she had before.


this song, is about a person that love another, and knew pretty much that he or she won't have a chance to tell the other
party about it. yet, it is equally painful trying to forget or not to love. to add to the pain, the one that is being loved

not necessary new about itoff course, some one may say that, well, don't be crazy, what is the point of liking some one when
you not even letting the other person know? well, my believe is, if you don't even let yourself loving some one, you are
letting the most precious thing in life go away. to me, love you cannot by with money, no matter how much you have them.

and
at times, love is more beautiful beccause of the nature being imperfect. now, back to my song, its a mix feeling because, i
don't wish to make people cry. well, it did any way. perhaps, only she can tell me, if it is a good thing or it is not at
all. for those that read this post to day, really sorry for my writing that kind of jump here and there. i guess, it is
really a lot that i want to put it down. how ever, i am limited by my words. and, some times, really, they are things that
you can't describe with words. with that, i will let you, some want who takes time to read this, go on with your life, and
ma
you be happy always.

random post.

now, i am just sitting in my room, in front of the computer, trying to watch dvd. but at this moment, my mind just think of

some random things. really random. i just ask over the internet to my friend, a question that i don't even know will do any

good to any one. and the quwestiojn question is, as a blind person, do you find it easyer to grab a botal of drink over

there, in uk, as compared to malaysia? se, as i said, maybe this question just don't mean any thing. i hate this feeling,

the feeling of me, thinking, do i mean any thing to others? what have i done to others? did i ever make any differents in

some once life? i won't say i am depress, but, i supose, at times, i just don't feel like i am belong to any thing, just

here, in my room, doing nothing. basicly, not going any where. well, i don't know. maybe i should stop and just let things

be for a while. thank

some one.

have you ever feeling missing some one for no apparent reason? that is what i am feeling now. some one in my mind, it is
just there. not that we keep in touch very often, but, for the past few days, i keep remembering the time we spend to
gather, the things we do to gather. i don't even think this person still remember me, or do think of me at times, but
well... it is nice to miss some one, because, you will remember the good of that person, but it is kind of lonely to know
that he or she is just not quite there. should i try to say hello with all this new technology that we use? or it is just a
feeling for now just like a train that passes by.
i wonder...

2012, the movie.

yesterday, i was watching 2012. it took me abit of surprise, because, the thing that struck me the most is not how many people
are dieing or how bad the damage that had happen. the thought that comes to my mind is, even to day, how many hello and good
bye that we neglected to say. how many times, when we can actually smiles, and express our love to some one else, but we
didn't do it? how many times, when we wanting to do those things, and we realize, it is probably to late? how many hours
in our life do we spend to hate some one, then to love others? well, i suppose every one will have different answer and
different views for all the questions above. and if you are reading this post, do take a moment at least to think about
those that you care.

how do you feel?

to day, i experience few different ways of how people express there feelings. well, i think, perhaps, we do experience
those different ways every day, and let me list down a few of them to see if you agree with me.
1. some one show there love and care by finding topics or just some thing to talk about with you. it can be jokes, or just
some unimportant things. or even, just teasing. on the surface, it may looks as if, that person just want to disturb you,
but the fact is, you does matter to that person. if not, why that person spending time to do those things to you? well, so
long as that person didn't over do it, i am ok with them, smile.
2. some people prefer to always stay by my side, and just come when i needed them. on the surface, it seems like he or she
all ready lost touch with you, but behind, they do try to find out what happen to me from time to time. for me, at times, i
do wonder do they care about me? off course, they do most of the time.
3. i also know people that like to tell me straight on there feelings about things that happen either between us or just
things that happen to them. most of the time, i do prefer this type of person. how ever, it can be hurting at times, plus,
with Asian people, it is pretty hard to express there love or caring so directly.

i think i will end this post by saying that what ever you do, do notice peoples care and love, and do the same to others. it

may means allot to another person.

a story of a mixer.

this is not a very interesting story, so if you have some thing better to do, go on. but if you desided to read this, i
thank you. it all started about a month ago where my friend tell me that he wanted to sell of his mixer. this is not the
mixer for you to mix some thing to make a cake. it is the mixer that deal with sound mixing. as a person that do recording
and arrangement, i should get a mixer long long time ago. getting it second hand will actually let me pay a lower price to
get me started. i havent use a mixer for a long long time. so most of the things i know has been forgotten, just like what
the Chinese says, give back to the teacher all ready, smile. that also partly the reason why i did not rush to by a first
hand mixer. so we talk and talk, and i ask many question about the mixer. and about 3 weeks ago, finally i convints myself
and i have agree to by it over. by the way, this friend is in Singapore. so, now i need to start to plan how to go and
get it over to Malaysia. it will be nice to end the story by saying that, finally i have plan it out and manage to bring it
over, but the story doesn't end there. when i just about to finalize my plan to Singapore, my friend suddenly told me, he
need to send the mixer for a repare. so, it was a little delay before i can go and get it. at last, i when down to
Singapore to get it on last Sunday. every thing goes well, i had a really nice day in Singapore with the friend that is
very helpful. i also manage to meet a few of my good friend that day. after a fun dinner, it is the time where i hop on to
the train and make my way back. when i pass true the custom of Malaysia at the train station, one guy stopped me. he wanted


to check to see if any thing that i bring over need to pay tax. he quickly clamed that the mixer need to pay 60 Singapore
money. personally, i don't agree with it. even tax, i strongly believe it should not be that expensive. it is an used
item. to make the long story short, he argue with me and make some statement that he himself did not follow. i was lucky i
have a singaporion friend there. she got so angry and desided to bring my mixer back to her place first then we should
arrange how to get it to me. both of us agree that we don't like the way this custom guy work. and the more he talk, the
more sounded like this guy just wanted sd 60 to put in his pocket. maybe he don't intent too, but it really looks like that
to us. so, there you go, my friend send me on the train and bring the mixer back to her home. on Monday morning, feeling
abit down with what happen the day before, i start to plan on how to bring it back to kl. at this point, i don't want to
bring it using the train again. i will surely meet the same guy. so i did call afew friend to see any one drive in to jb,
witch is the nearest state to Singapore. my kind friend even say that she don't mind to take plane and fly it in for me.
thanks to my kind friends, she manage to drive in and put it some where i can collect yesterday, witch is a thursday. at
this point, you maybe thinking, why did i rush the mixer so much that i even need to ask my friend to bring it in so
urgently? well, the reason is, i have a recording project tomorrow. how ever, about 9 pm, just one hour before i go on the
train to come back with my mixer yesterday, my friend just call me and say maybe the recording session is cancel tomorrow.

at that
point, i don't know how to describe my feeling. i have try so many ways to get my mixer down to make sure that i am ready
for tomorrow, but now that it may not happened, and honestly, i don't know when it will if it is not happening tomorrow.
well, but, some times, this is life right? we work so hard, but then, the out come, hmm. who can say smile.